Harry Turtledove Enchanter Completed

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wheelbarrows, so they simply removed the axles. They even stuck squares of
clear plastic on them to mimic monitors."
Alizon shook her head. "Plastic wheelbarrows! How tacky. One could almost
applaud our rivals'
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actions. After all, they claim they are defending France from kitsch."
"Taking the gnomes from their gardens and inserting them in the corporate
world is not improving their situation," said Raquel. "Pinstripes and
briefcases! Ours is a much more noble purpose."
"To free the gnomes from the tyranny of human owners and return them to their
native woodland home!"
cried Becca.
"Huzzah!" all three cheered, then broke into laughter. The waiter hardly gave
them a glance; they were regulars at the nearly deserted caf�.
In the nineties, many organizations devoted to garden gnomes sprang up in
France, rather like mushrooms. A few were meant for aficionados of the ceramic
figures, of which there were at least 100
million worldwide. Others, like the rivals in the nearby town of Torgon,
snatched gnomes and set them in absurd displays as a protest against tacky
art. Still other groups, of a more violent terroristic nature, smashed gnomes
to bits. The Garden Gnome Freedom Front had its own specific objectives. Its
handbook included sections on the Origins of Gnomes and Their Destiny, the
Uselessness of Accessories
(including wheelbarrows and deer), Distinguishing Characteristics of Gnomes,
and, most important, their treatise, Why Support Gnomish Independence?
The G.G.F.F. had begun as a joke a year before, in 1995, when the three
friends contributed to a science fiction fanzine. Alizon, who was majoring in
history, and Raquel, whose specialty was folklore, concocted silly ideas for
the text. Becca, the artist, illustrated each section. It won them notoriety
in the
French science fiction community, and Becca got an award for fan art at a
convention when she displayed the handbook's cover painting.
None of them could remember who first suggested making their fictional
organization a reality. It was in spring, when they were celebrating the end
of examinations with a bit too much wine. Their flat looked over the oldest
section of Saint-Cl�ment, filled with small cottages, quaint gardens . . . and
gnomes. One minute they were drinking a fine Bordeaux, the next they were
scrambling over stone walls, absconding
with bearded ceramic figures. Alizon declared that the best place for the
rescued gnomes was a woodland glade. An avid bird watcher, she knew the right
spot, some two miles outside the town. Even with her expert guidance, getting
there in the dark was hard. Tromping through bracken eradicated the effects of
the wine, but the exhilaration returned when they placed the newly independent
gnomes in a fairy ring of mushrooms.
They struck two more blows for gnomish liberty over the summer, and on this
balmy September day had gathered to plan another mission.
"Next on our agenda: local gnomish doings," Alizon announced after their
giggling subsided. "I've spotted two new houses with gnomes in the gardens, on
rue Michelet and rue Mar�chal-Foch. The benefits of being a bird watcher:
nobody knows I'm doing surveillance for our cause with my binoculars."
Raquel and Becca exchanged looks. "You can't fool us," Raquel said at last.
"You were out watching birds and accidentally spotted some gnomes."
"Well, what if I did? I saw two green woodpeckers, a kingfisher, six
chaffinches, and four gnomes. Not bad for a half hour's stroll."
"Yes, but were there any dogs in those gardens?" asked Becca. "That Hound of
the Baskervilles nearly ate me last month. If it came any closer, I was going
to pitch the gnome at it, and say the hell with our cause."
"No dogs, and the families are on vacation," assured Alizon.
"Good. Now here's my news," said Becca. "I've got the early edition of the
Saint-Cl�ment Chronicle
.
My cousin's a reporter and gave it to me because he remembered my gnome
painting. He thought I'd be amused. Lord, it was hard keeping a straight face.
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Poor Claude has no idea I'm behind this 'evil plot.'"
She produced the newspaper, which featured an article and an editorial about
the Front's raids. "Our successes are starting to work against us."
"You're right," said Alizon. "It says some people are taking their gnomes
inside at night. No wonder they've been harder to spot lately."
"And it says a hiker found the first ring of gnomes we liberated, and that two
have been reclaimed by their owners. All that work for nothing," said Raquel.
Becca said, "Well, they've had a taste of freedom. We'll just have to rescue [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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