Diana Palmer Maggie's Dad 02 Man of Ice

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efforts weren't going to dent his reserve. She turned and went to the door, unlocking it with cold
hands. Even when she went through it, he never looked her way or said a single word. Nor did she
expect him to. He'd frozen over.
She took a bath and changed her clothes. Her shame was so sweeping that she couldn't bear to look at
herself in the mirror. There was another fact that she might have to face. He hadn't even tried to
protect her, and she'd been so hopelessly naive as to welcome the risk of a child. If she'd had any
sense at all, she'd have let him writhe with his insecurities about being a man. If she'd had any sense at
all, she'd have run like the wind. Which was, of course, what she was about to do.
It only took her a few minutes to pack. She put everything into her suitcase and garment bag and
carried the lot down the staircase by herself. Rodge and Corlie were busy with their respective chores,
so they didn't see or hear her go out the front door. Neither did Dawson, who was still cursing himself
for his lack of restraint and pride.
He didn't realize she'd gone until he heard the car engine start up. He got to the front door in time to
see her turning from the driveway onto the main highway that led to Sheridan.
For a few seconds, he watched in anguish, his first thought to go after her and bring her right back.
But what would that accomplish? What could he say? That he'd made a mistake? That giving in to his
passion for her had been folly and he hoped they wouldn't both live to regret it?
He closed the front door and rested his forehead against it. He'd -wanted to know that he was still a
whole man, and now he knew that he was. But only with Barrie. He didn't want any other woman. The
desire he felt for Barrie was sweeping and devouring, it made him helpless, it made him vulnerable. If
she knew how desperately he wanted her, she could use him, wound him, destroy him.
He couldn't give anyone the sort of power over him that Barrie's mother had held over George
Rutherford. He'd actually seen her tease George into a frenzy, into begging for her body. Barrie didn't
know. She'd never known that her mother had used George's desire for her to make him do anything
she liked. But Dawson knew. A woman with that kind of power over a man would abuse it. She
her if she
(wante d to make him pay for the way he'd treated her?
He didn't dare let Barrie stay. She'd seen him totally at the mercy of his desire, but she didn't, thank
God, know how complete her victory was. He could let her leave thinking he'd turned his back on her,
and that was for the best. It would save his pride.
From his childhood, he'd known that women liked to find a weakness and exploit it. Hadn't his own
mother called him a weakling when he'd begged to be held and loved as a toddler? She'd made him
pay for being born. And then George had married Barrie's mother, and he'd seen the destructive
pattern of lust used as a bargaining tool, he'd seen again the contempt women had for a man's
weaknesses. He'd seen how his father had been victimized by his own desire and love. Well, that wasn't
going to happen to him. He wasn't going to be vulnerable!
Barrie thought he'd only wanted to prove his manhood; she'd think he'd used her. Let her. She wouldn't
get the chance to gloat over his weakness, as her mother had gloated over his father's. She wouldn't
ever know that his possession of her today had been the most wondrous thing that had ever happened
to him in his life, that her body had given him a kind of ecstasy that he'd never dreamed he was
capable of experiencing. All the barriers had come down, all the reserve, all the holding back.
He'd... given himself to her.
His hands clenched violently. Yes, he could admit that, but only to himself. He'd gone the whole way,
dropped all the pretense, in those few seconds of glorious oblivion in her arms. He hated that she'd
seen his emotions naked in his eyes while he was helpless, but that couldn't be helped now. It was the
first time in his life that he'd ever been able to give himself to pure physical pleasure, and it was
probably only due to the enforced abstinence of sex. Yes. Surely that was the only reason he'd had
such pleasure from her.
Of course, she'd had pleasure from him, too. It touched something in him to realize how completely
he'd satisfied her in spite of her earlier fear. He felt pride that he'd been able to hold back at least that
far, that he'd healed the scars he'd given her during their first intimacy.
But wouldn't it be worse for her, now that she knew what kind of pleasure lay past the pain? And
wouldn't she be hurt and wounded even more now by his rejection, after she'd given in to him so
completely? His only thought had been for his pride, but now he had to consider the new scars she
was going to have. Why hadn't he let her go while there was still time? He groaned aloud.
"Dawson?" Corlie called from the kitchen doorway. "Don't you and Barrie want any lunch?"
"Barrie's gone," he said stiffly, straightening, with his back to her.
' 'Gone? Without saying goodbye?"
"It was... an emergency." He invented an excuse. "A call from a friend in Tucson who needed her to
help with some summer school project. She said she'd phone you later."
She hadn't said that at all, but he knew she would phone. She loved Corlie and Rodge. She wouldn't
want to hurt their feelings, even if she was furious with Dawson.
"Oh," Corlie said vaguely. "I must not have heard the phone ring." She was curious about his rigid
stance and the scowl between his eyes when he glanced at her, but Dawson in a temper wasn't someone
she wanted to antagonize. "All right, then. Do you want some salad and sandwiches?"
He shook his head. "Just black coffee. I'll come and get it."
"You've quarreled, haven't you?" she asked gently. He sighed heavily as he walked toward the kitchen.
"Don't ask questions, Corlie."
She didn't, but it took every last ounce of her willpower. Something had gone terribly wrong. She
couldn't help herself. And Barrie had years of Dawson's own cruelty to avenge. How could he blame
wonderred what. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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