Calling the Show J.A. Rock

[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

96 J.A. Rock
Then I gave his lower lip a bite that made him whimper.
I didn t remember any of this from sex with Toby Reiter.
I ran my hand from his chest down to his belly and then to the front of his pants.
He squirmed, lifting his hips and pressing into my hand. Jesse& shit& Jesse&
I hoped that was a good shit& Jesse.
With my free hand I found one hard nipple through his shirt and pinched it,
rubbing the bulge in his jeans with my other palm.
He inhaled sharply and grabbed fistfuls of my bedspread.
Then he reached for my zipper.
I didn t mean to pull away. It just sort of happened.
He froze.
I want to fuck you, I said quickly.
The quaver in my voice was unanticipated. I hoped he would put it down to lust.
But he opened his eyes and looked at me. I took my hands off him. He sat up, his
breathing uneven.
We ll get there, he said.
I felt like someone had put a foot down my throat and kicked me from the inside.
Do you not want to?
I want to. But, if there s one thing I ve learned from all my experience He
smiled, I guess to show he was teasing, but I still felt awful hearing him say it. Is that
sometimes people say they want things that they re really not ready for, because they
think it ll make the other person happy, or keep them from leaving.
I m not
I ve done a lot of that, Sim interrupted. And it doesn t feel good afterward,
believe me. Especially when the other person leaves anyway.
He stared at me. My throat felt like it had splinters in it.
Calling the Show 97
I want you to know I ll hang around, even if we don t have sex tonight. Or
tomorrow.
What about the next day? I asked.
He laughed. That might be pushing it. He brushed his damp bangs off his
forehead. I m serious, Jesse. Don t think this is what I want. I mean, I do want it. But
it s not all I want. And if it s all you want then maybe it s not something I want. At
all.
Huh?
We don t have to have sex. That s all I m saying. I like you, and I hope you like
me, but I m not just looking for a fuck. Make sense?
I nodded. I do want to fuck, though. It s just& been a while for me.
How long?
Jesus. Get personal much?
I was eighteen.
He nodded like it was no big deal, but I saw his eyes go wide for a second.
You know what I d like to do before we have sex? he asked.
Huh?
Take you on a date.
I snorted. Now that, I ve never done.
This time he made no effort to hide his surprise. You re kidding, right?
Nope. And I ve never had any desire to.
Jesse Ferelit. Even a slut like me gets wined and dined once in a while. Are you
free tomorrow night?
Um&
98 J.A. Rock
You are. Dinner and a movie. I can t go anywhere too expensive. Maybe the
noodle place. The movie should be something trashy. Something ridiculous. A gross-
out comedy. Yeah?
All right, I said.
And I ll pay.
Sim
Shut up. Your first date. Oh my God, I m too excited.
You re so weird.
You ve got room to talk, Ferelit.
So if we don t have sex& I said carefully.
Uh-huh?
Can we at least keep doing whatever we were doing?
Fooling around?
Yeah.
You bet.
We looked at each other. I felt heat rise to my cheeks. It was hard to dive back in
after the interruption. I felt self-conscious now. You like your tits played with, I said
softly.
I couldn t remember the last time I d said tits out loud. Maybe I d never said it.
You think that s weird?
I don t know what s weird.
He took my hand, laced his fingers in mine, and rubbed my knuckles with his
thumb. What do you like?
I shrugged. My cock wasn t feeling too picky right now.
He leaned in and kissed me, a gentler kiss than we d managed so far. Lie back on
the bed.
Calling the Show 99
I did. He lifted my shirt up, exposing my stomach, and kissed down from the base
of my rib cage to my navel. He undid my jeans and pulled them down. I tried not to be
embarrassed, not to worry about what my dick looked like tenting my boxers; I tried to
feel sexy and confident and excited.
Okay with this? he asked.
I could only nod.
He reached into the front of my underwear and took hold of my dick, still kissing
around my belly button. He stroked down the length of my shaft, then gripped it at the
base and took it in his mouth.
Holy fuck.
Not something Toby had done for me at eighteen. Not something I d had anyone
do ever.
I d always wondered what the big deal about blowjobs was. I mean, I liked
watching suck-off porn, but it never looked that appealing. It looked lewd and slobbery
and degrading to whoever was sucking.
But this was unreal.
I couldn t even keep track of what all he was doing. First he was licking; then he
was sucking; then his spit was running over my balls and soaking the front of my
shorts. Then he was sucking on just the head of my dick, and I made some weird noise
that I didn t have time to be embarrassed about before I shoved my hips up and shot
against the roof of his mouth. He kept sucking me, but much more gently as my cock
wilted on his tongue. I felt his throat moving as he swallowed, and I wanted to thank
him like seriously thank him but words weren t really my thing right then.
That s us not having sex? I asked when I could breathe again.
He laughed and tucked my dick back in my boxers.
That s me helping you with what looked like a painful condition. You know
you re supposed to see a doctor if one of those lasts more than four hours.
100 J.A. Rock
What if it lasts more than four years?
Jeez. You poor thing. I don t want to think about that.
He got up.
Can I Should I You haven t
Hey, Jesse? Relax.
When I d recovered somewhat, we went out to the kitchen. I opened a window
and lit a cigarette, which Sim found hilarious. What? I asked.
You should have lit that in bed.
I took a drag and smiled. You want one?
Nah, he said.
Is that one of your things? Are you an antismoking crusader?
Not a crusader. I just& Bad experience, I guess.
No time like the present to try again. I dropped some ash out the window. I
mean, I wouldn t call my first experience with sex good.
Must have been really underwhelming for someone like you to be able to avoid it
so long afterward.
Someone like me?
Someone hot.
I tilted my face closer to the window to try to extinguish the fire in my cheeks.
I m not hot, I muttered.
I m sorry, but I disagree.
I ll put it out if it bothers you, I said, indicating the cigarette.
He shook his head. I ll live.
I put it out anyway and set it in the ashtray on the windowsill. I really don t need
to smoke. It just helps sometimes.
Calling the Show 101
My mom smokes like crazy. She keeps cartons of Marlboros in the freezer.
Once I was probably ten I unrolled a bunch of her cigarettes and replaced the paper
with little notes that said shit like Smoking kills, and Please stop smoking, Mom.
He laughed, so I laughed too.
What d she say?
She whipped the shit out of me.
I stared at him.
He went on. When I was thirteen she caught me smoking a cigarette and totally
freaked. Boiled it on the stove and made me drink it. I puked everywhere. Probably
couldn t smoke a cigarette now if I wanted to. He laughed again.
He was looking out the window. I wanted to take a fistful of his hair and turn his [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

Archiwum